The other day I was talking with a friend about online dating. At certain moment she made a point about how it all felt a bit like going grocery shopping and picking up whatever you liked best. A tailor-made boyfriend. And that got me thinking, aren’t we obsessing a tad too much about finding the ideal partner? Or to put it in other words, if you only look for people like you, with your same tastes, interests and ideas, aren’t you missing the best part? I’m beginning to think we are blinded by the idea of finding our perfect soul mate. But –and I’m totally guessing here- that’s the exact opposite of what we need. Your partner’s personality shouldn’t be a carbon copy of yours. You shouldn’t share the same line of thinking the whole fucking time. Furthermore, you shouldn’t compromise your ideas over his. This might sound obvious, but believe me, it isn’t. The only way to have a happy and healthy relationship is to push each other into becoming a better person every single day. And you can’t get there if you don’t have stimulus; if your partner doesn’t help you to see your mistakes, your imperfections.
I’ve never done online dating, so maybe I’m just talking nonsense here. I grew up in a time where looking for a couple on the internet was for weirdos. I am aware this is completely different now. The number of users is rapidly increasing. And there’s also Facebook, which many of us use as an alternative. However, there’s something that I find extremely disturbing about this whole new era. In the online world we basically go window-shopping; we scrutinize every little detail. We want to know it all. The faster, the better. There’s no room for subtleness. Whereas in its off-line counterpart, we’re somehow becoming invisible. No one looks for fear of getting caught. You could be doing or saying the most outreagous thing, you can be sure no one is going to look at you. What’s even worst, no one asks how you feel, what you think, to avoid being perceived as nosy.
So at this point, shouldn’t we try to balance both worlds before the whole thing blows up on our faces? I’m sure the internet is a great way to get to know people, but we shouldn’t forget that the little details are the ones that count and they certainly don’t translate well to the screen.